Welcome back to Farmer Wants A Wife 2026 Recap.
Channel 7 lied. I thought this week was the finale of the worst Farmer Wants a Wife series shown on Australian television. Turns out we have another week to go!
But this week we got a little treat! Remember Farmer Tom and Sister-Wife Georgie from last season? No? I don’t blame you. Anyway…. Farmer Tom found one of the abandoned picnic blankets and took his unsuspecting future wife down to a stream for a picnic. On bended knee he declared “I want to spend the rest of my life wiv you, fru everyfing. Will you be my wife?”
It seems like the Farmer Wants A Wife magic has worked again.
Week Six of the Farmer Drama
This week we saw fancy dresses, bad make-up, a rat-weazel hairless dog squeezed into a velvet jacket and rat-weasel farmers in velvet jackets too. We saw the lights of Sydney, the “pointy thing at the Opera House”, farmers crying, sister-wives sobbing, Scarlett ripping Cowboy Dylan a new one, Melbourne, pineapples, friends and family and approximately 30 seconds of actual farming.
It was a lot.
But…
For the first time all season there wasn’t a picnic blanket in sight.
Small wins.
Let’s do this.
We opened with the final day on the farm for the remaining sister-wives.
Hairy Dairy Jason and Logan fed the chooks.
No Kids Poppy watered the geraniums.
Cowboy Dylan rounded up his ten sheep on horseback.
Righto. That was enough farming for one episode because there was drama to get to.
Cowboy Dylan took Scarlett for a walk to pat his horse.
He admitted he was falling for her, and Scarlett “like hopes, like, she can like come back cause like she really likes it here.” They sealed it with a pash in front of a horrified-looking horse.
Meanwhile, down by the beautiful Murray River, J-Rad took his two remaining sister-wives for one last riverside catch-up.
Yvonne, who is now a fully fledged twitcher, said she’d “miss seeing the birds dancing across the lawn.” Oh for the love of God, shut up Yvonne.
J-Rad squeezed in one last Murray River pash before a game of tonsil tennis with Bobby Pin Brodie because she’d apparently discovered his “deeper side.”
Black Tie Dinner
The farmers and sister-wives packed their bags and headed to Sydney for the Black Tie Dinner.
Poor Cowboy Dylan was like a seven-year-old on his first family holiday. He’d never been to Sydney, let alone worn a bow tie. It was a big day for him.
The blokes drank beer on a ferry and gave each other some shitty relationship advice you’d expect from five emotionally confused farmers.
The girls sat around sipping champagne and bitching about Ally, who’d packed her bags and walked out on Cowboy Dylan the week before.
Then they all frocked up, with a couple appearing to have been attacked by Donald Trump’s bronzer. #whatswiththebadmakeup?
Looking glamorous, they made their way to dinner like glitter-covered lambs heading to the slaughterhouse.
Poor first-time traveller, Cowboy Dylan looked a little muddled with all the cutlery and pulling out chairs for the ladies proved just as confusing.
J-Rad stood up, delivered some cheesy speech and toasted, “Here’s to love,” while I quietly vomited in my mouth.
He couldn’t keep his eyes off Bobby Pin Brodie in her stunning red dress and couldn’t stop complimenting her either.
Meanwhile, Yvonne, who looked like a chandelier had thrown up on her, puckered her lips like a cat’s bum, and desperately tried not to cry after J-Rad admitted Brodie was the woman he’d been snogging the most.
Is my prediction actually coming true? Is Bobby Pin Brodie about to pull the greatest Bradbury in Farmer Wants A Wife history?
Yvonne needed “a moment” and headed outside with J-Rad in hot pursuit.
She cried while J-Rad looked more concerned that his steak was getting cold.
She banged on about how challenging the whole experience had been before tearfully saying, “It’s really hard looking this good.”
Confidence really is a wonderful thing.
Back at Cowboy Dylan’s table, he was grilled by Scarlett and Keely about Ally.
How did he feel about her leaving? What if she came back?
“It’s put me off her a bit,” he said, as he crossed his fingers behind his back.
Then what do you know… In walked Ally in a banging dress, looking absolutely stunning.
The whole room oohed and aahed and for the rest of the night she was all anyone talked about.
Ally whisked Dylan outside where the blood rushed from his head straight to his undies and the pair conveniently forgot how giant glass windows worked before launching into another pash right in front of the dining room.
Somewhere behind the cameras, the producers were giving each other high-fives.
I could hear the fist pumping from lounge rooms all around Australia when Scarlett absolutely ripped Cowboy Dylan and baby-talking Ally a new one.
YAS QUEEN.
Nobody was disrespecting Scarlett and getting away with it.
Well… except Dylan.
He begged her to stay. So she did.
Poor old Keely got the boot instead and hot-tailed it out of there, probably relieved to be escaping the ridiculous drama.
Over at Apple A Day Farmer Zac’s table, he pulled Mieke, who conveniently also lives in the Adelaide Hills, aside because he needed reassurance she was still a keen jelly bean.
She responded with another pash to lock in the “connection.”
Back inside, OG 24-hour date Grace already knew where her fate was heading. The vibes weren’t vibing.
Zac cried and told Grace it was over.
And Grace…Left with grace.
Meet The Families
After all the drama of the Black Tie Dinner, it was time to meet the families.
This week it was Hairy Dairy Farmer Jason and Apple A Day Farmer Zac under the microscope.
Apple A Day Farmer Zac headed to Melbourne to meet Maya’s mum, dad, sister and best mate.
Somewhere along the way, the producers must’ve banned the word “connection” because suddenly everyone started saying “spark.”
Zac admitted there might be more of a spark with Mieke.
The problem is… Zac doesn’t actually seem to know what a spark is.
Can a spark develop?
Is a spark different to a connection?
What even is a spark?
Rumour has it Zac’s an apprentice electrician who picks apples on the weekends, surely he knows what a spark is.
Maya and Zac giggled their way through the visit and, despite being painfully awkward at times, they actually look like a really good match.
But what about local Adelaide Hills girl Mieke?
Zac drove up the road to meet her family.
One look at her dad’s haircut and I reckon doubts started creeping in. Mieke’s little brother looked pretty suspicious of Farmer Zac too. Maybe he’d heard a few stories floating around the local footy club.
It was Mieke’s mum who finally attempted to explain her daughter.
Mieke isn’t the ice-queen she appears to be. Apparently she’s just shy, and she’s scared of getting hurt. Great idea to come onto Farmer Wants A Wife Mieke.
Despite all the talk about “sparks”, Zac needed ice-queen Mieke to be more open an ultimately picked everyone’s favourite, Maya.
I honestly reckon this one might go the distance.
They’re both young, awkward, giggly and a little bit cringey, but maybe Apple a Day Farmer Zac has just found a wife.
Over in Hairy Dairy Jason’s world, things got a little more complicated.
He hot-footed it to Logan’s place, where her family didn’t muck around.
“So… why are you hanging onto the other chick who doesn’t even want kids?”
Hairy Dairy’s brain immediately blue-screened and he couldn’t answer, probably because IT MAKES NO SENSE!
Seeing Logan playing with her niece and nephew had Farmer Jason’s paternal juices flowing and she looked every bit the future mum he’d always talked about wanting.
Then he headed to Ipswich to meet No Kids Poppy and her friends.
She greeted him with her ridiculous sports car and the ugliest hairless Chinese Crested dog in the history of canines.
Seriously, that thing gave retired rock star vibes.
Australia collectively yelled… PICK LOGAN!
Then I couldn’t help noticing pineapple decorations on Poppy’s friends’ dining table.
Now… if you know what upside-down pineapples are code for, you’ll understand why I raised an eyebrow.
Maybe Queenslanders just really love decorating with pineapples. Or maybe Hairy Dairy Jason’s in for a whole lot more than he bargained for and they were checking him out more for themselves than for Poppy. #swingersrus
And who knows, maybe Poppy’s mates convinced Jason she was actually “earthy” and would make a great co-parent. Poppy seems to like reminding Jason how much she wants to go to Disneyland.
Just don’t ask her to pack the school lunches. #fthat
In the end, maybe stroking Poppy’s hairless dog did things for him because Hairy Dairy Farmer Jason sent Logan packing and decided he was willing to put his eggs in No Kids Poppy’s basket.
As Poppy stood there looking like she’d robbed Spotlight and glued the contents to her dress, Hairy Dairy Farmer Jason told her she’d made him a better man.
Even my Farmer husband, Farmer Trent looked up from the couch and said,
“What the hell is he thinking? That won’t last.”
I reckon half of Australia agreed.
Grand Finale
So next week really is the grand finale.
I checked.
Twice.
I’ve got my money on Scarlett for Cowboy Dylan and Bobby Pin Brodie pulling the greatest Bradbury in Farmer Wants A Wife history.
But I’ve been wrong before.
Who do you reckon each farmer picks?
Until next week, this fully qualified farmers wife is signing off.
Farmer Wants a Wife airs on Channel 7 and 7plus, Sunday-Tuesday at 7pm and 7.30pm. Watch it here.
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