A cheeky campaign by the Malinauskas Government to entice our Sombrero-wearing neighbours to South Australia has launched in Victoria.
Featuring large billboards on the busy streets of Melbourne’s CBD, the SA Government is hoping to poach expanding and new Victorian businesses across the border.
But do South Australians want their rival neighbours teaming up in the Festival State? We all know that SA is the best place in the country right? It’s a hidden gem, one that is unique and precious. And why is that? Probably because there are no Vic’s here.
We can’t blame our Eastern cousins if they choose to wander west. After all, Dan “The Lockdown Man” Andrews is a hefty taxer. To add insult to injury, the Victorian Government’s $8.6 billion ‘COVID Debt Levy’ tax will slug about 4,000 businesses and have a huge knock-on effect through increased costs to consumers in the state.
South Australia on the other hand has one of the most competitive payroll tax regimes in the country, no stamp duty on commercial property transactions and premium office space at a fraction of the cost. Together with the fact South Australia has better training opportunities, cheaper land prices, less traffic, superb beaches and home to the best wine producers in the country, we may need Donald Trump to build us a wall to keep them out.
There’s no doubt that inviting our neighbours to our state will stimulate the economy, provide more employment opportunities, and spruik our already fabulous reputation as the state that punches above its weight. But what else do we get? Devon? Collingwood supporters? A weird pronunciation of pool and school? Beer size confusion and coffee snobs? It might soften the blow if we inherit an extra public holiday for the Melbourne Cup though.
Convincing Victorians is just the first cross to bear for the Malinauskas Government, with their sights set on other states too. Maybe the “Business is Better in SA” campaign will induce a pandemic of a different kind. Maybe the whole of Australia will be infected with a dose of obsession for all things South Australian and prompt a border shutdown once more. Who knows? But I hope Dan Andrews enjoys the view of the giant billboard from his office window as he peers down to see his constituents head west towards the incredible sunset of our southern state.
