It’s finally OVER! Farmer Wants A Wife has come to an end, for now…
Season 14’s finale reunion aired Sunday night. But thanks to a dimwit who accidentally aired it on 7Plus, some of us got a sneak peek on Friday! Word of this blunder roared through the FWAW chat pages like wildfire! It was taken down, but not after hundreds of FWAW die-hards got the goss we’ve all been waiting for.
Filmed just four weeks after the show ended it was barely enough time for the farmers and their “lovely ladies” to catch their breath. Sam Armytage sported another Dolly Varden Dunny Roll Dress as she peppered questions to the couples on the couch.
In a surprise announcement, the love bubble had burst for Farmer Dean and Teegan. Dean was the first farmer to declare love for his favourite sister-wife after just six episodes. Seems he should have hung in there and “explored other options” before putting all of his eggs in Teegans unreliable basket. In Teegan’s defence, once all of the cameras were gone and the hype had settled, the reality of living with a busy cattle farmer in Kandanga would have seen a lot of girls packing.
True to form, the scripting and atrocious acting were laid on thicker than Karli’s fake tan. With more adverts than show, strategically placed to leave us “hanging”, there’s no doubt collective groans could be heard in lounge rooms across Australia while we waited for yet another Isuzu advert to end.
It was revealed that Dustin and Sophie were having a rocky start to their “journey”. Sophie had “put the breaks on” because Dustin, who has only just flown the coop from under the wing of his mother, lives in a shitbox of a house and Sophie doesn’t like it. I’m team Sophie on this one. Not only was there an original 1940’s kitchen falling apart at the seams, sagging ceilings, and carpet older than Jesus, I could almost smell the musty stench of this old “cottage” ooze through the TV screen. I’m sorry Dustin, but if you expect Sophie to uproot her life, quit her job, leave her family and friends to move all the way to buttfu*k nowhere DO SOME RENOVATIONS. And Sophie if you’re reading this. Don’t move until they’re done! Many a farmer’s wife, including me, have had house reno’s pushed to the bottom of the priority list with giant sheds and new tractors coming out on top. Don’t be fooled grasshopper- farmers don’t like to part with money to make the house pretty. #justsaying #yesimstillwaitingforrenos #notbittermuch
Farmer Bert is still, well…. single and boring. He revealed that he runs into Caitlyn at the bait shop that her family owns, so I assume she’ll hook him one day. However, she took to Instagram to show us her boobs clear up any rumours that she and Bert were anything but friends. Bunny boiler Karli moved on from heartbreak, recently sharing on her Instagram page how she’s trapped a new victim found true love. Seems she was determined to live the rural lifestyle having caught the eye of Agronomist and potato enthusiast Mitchell Gorman.
Despite many of us hoping that smokin’ Joe would choose sister-wife Keely, rumours were rife that he and Sarah had split. But the self-declared stubborn duo are hanging in there, butting heads and bumping uglies. Joe is a smitten kitten and said that Sarah is exactly what he’s been looking for, hinting that she will be moving to the farm soon. Stock up on the bath salts Joe!
Farmer Tom and Sarah joined the couch as happy as pigs in poop, but it turns out things started to stink, with Sarah announcing on social media earlier this week that she had pulled the pin. Despite declaring the farm “felt like home “, young Sarah claimed that “people are not always who you think they are”. Sounds like Teary Tom might be a tosser.
And now the pièce de résistance, controversial couple Todd and Daisy. It was evident from the start that Daisy and Todd hopped on the good foot and did the bad thing during the 24 hour date clicked from the start.
Nothing was gonna get in the way of ‘true love’, including sister-wives, a crying mother and red flag-waving friends. Daisy and Todd were out to prove a point. With a cringe-worthy pash as Daisy joined Todd on the couch, they gleefully shared their story. Wedding bells and baby bumps are on the cards, with Daisy having already left the gym she opened just before appearing on the show, and packing up her life to be a farmer’s wife! Daisy Lamb in Baan Baa – nothing sheepish about that.
Now that Season 14 has come to an end, the hunt is on for the next lot of lambs to the slaughter love-seeking farmers on a quest to snag a wife.
Do you have a single farmer mate desperate for a farmhand wife? Or a lovesick friend who wants to be a social media influencer who dreams of moving to the country for an easy breezy life on the land!
Click here and bung their names down. Despite season 14 having some cringeworthy moments, the stats are better than a $150 million single-handed lotto win.
