The Final Decisions Are Made, Two Women Leave Heartbroken, Granny Annie Becomes Australia’s Favourite Nan And The Picnic Blanket Gets One Last Run
We made it! The final episode of Farmer Wants A Wife for 2026.
Well… almost.
Apparently there’s still a reunion in August because Channel 7 wasn’t quite finished milking this cow.
This week we travelled to Geelong and Noooooosa, met the legendary Granny Annie, watched declarations of love, awkward family interrogations, plenty of pashing and even more tears.
Two farmers. Four women. Two broken hearts.
Cowboy Dylan
Cowboy Dylan headed to Noooooosa. *Insert posh accent.
He met Scarlett’s mum, stepdad, cousin and uncle and looked about as comfortable as a pork chop at a bar mitzvah.
“Have you been to Noooooosa before?” they asked.
“Nah nah… haven’t been, aye.”
Look, the bloke only wore a bow tie for the first time last week and is still recovering from sitting at a dinner table with more cutlery than he’s seen in his whole life. Give the kid a break.
Then Dylan had an epiphany.
“I reckon polo is a rich man’s sport.”
You don’t say.
He soon discovered Scarlett learnt to play polo in London, had a French bestie at her elite private school and could speak French too. You could literally hear the cogs grinding in Dylan’s head trying to process what he was in for.
Scarlett’s mum asked if he’d travelled overseas and I’m pretty sure he was wondering whether Granite Island counted before Stepdad dragged him aside for the traditional grilling. In the nicest possible way he explained Scarlett’s mum was a pain in the arse. She was “full on” and Scarlett was exactly the same.
Translation… mate, she’s high maintenance. Saddle up and run.
Scarlett later reassured Dylan that “money doesn’t mean anything.”
Mmm… spoken like someone who shits dollar coins.
She then declared she loved him, gave him a good snogging and reassured him that she’d happily sleep in a car at a rodeo, because what a romantic story to tell their kids.
Next stop was Ally’s place, where Dylan met the undisputed star of the episode, Granny Annie. The whole country fell in love with her. Dylan, who practically worships his own Nan, looked right at home having a chinwag.
Granny Annie shared the secret to a long relationship. If two people are 100 per cent committed, they’ll make it work. She’s probably the wisest person we’ve seen all season.
Dylan and Ally celebrated with a spa, where Ally finally admitted she was falling in love. Dylan looked happier than a pig in shit before the pair celebrated with a steamy spa pash.
Farmer J-Rad
Farmer J-Rad headed to Geelong to meet Yvonne’s family, where he was greeted by her sister, cousin and best mate Kassandra.
Kassandra’s eyebrows were every bit as angry as she was, and she absolutely grilled J-Rad about the other sister-wife Brodie, his previous marriage and whether he actually knew what he wanted.
To be fair… so was the rest of Australia.
The producers then rolled out the season’s final picnic blanket, replenished the cheese board and popped the last bottle of champas. Godspeed little picnic blanket. You served us well.
J-Rad dusted off the old, “Yeah sure… I could see you as my wife” line. #liarliarpantsonfire
Yvonne lapped it up, but then came the biggest shock of the night.
They hugged.
There was NO PASH.
I repeat… NO PASH.
Then it was Bobby Pin Brodie’s turn. She took J-Rad home to meet her family and the date started with a kiss, which pretty much told you everything you needed to know.
Her family were warm, funny and genuinely lovely. Brodie looked stunning and, importantly, not a Bobby Pin was out of place.
She admitted she’d spent too much of her life being the safe option, the boring option and the backup plan, and she’d finally had enough of being second choice.
J-Rad referred to her as “a lovely lady”, which personally would’ve had me sprinting for the nearest exit, but instead she rewarded him with one final snog and smeared her red lipstick in a passionate last-date plea to be chosen.
D-Day
In a shocking move, Yvonne stole J-Rad’s thunder.
Before he could deliver his carefully rehearsed speech, and send her packing, she interrupted him.
“You’re not my farmer.”
Byeeeeee.
She grabbed what dignity she had left and hottailed it back to Geelong to the open arms of her bestie Kassandra.
Which meant…
Ladies and gentlemen…
My Bradbury prediction was correct!
Bobby Pin Brodie had come from nowhere to steal the win.
J-Rad looked like a genuinely smitten kitten. So smitten, in fact, he must’ve rung Holy Moly Alex and asked for the Lovisa discount code because he turned up with a tiny birthstone bracelet.
You’d need a magnifying glass to see the stone. But the sentiment was there. Naaawww. Go J-Rad.
Back in Dylan’s world, things were unravelling.
His boots were spinning and he couldn’t find his “yeahs” from his “nahs”.
Scarlett turned up looking like she’d chosen a white dress to send Dylan a little bridal hint.
She declared she saw him as her best friend and her “lover.”
Please…Never use that word on national television again.
She said she had her “heart on the table.”
I think she meant her cards. Or maybe her heart was on her sleeve? All I know is that her lipstick isn’t on her lips. #stayinthelines
Dylan, through tears, admitted he couldn’t give Scarlett the life she wanted.
She wished him well, told him he’s “got this”, jumped in the car and declared,
“Guys always regret dumping me.” They probably do.
Then came wildcard Ally.
Dylan declared he’d fallen in love with her. She jumped up and down like a five-year-old on Christmas morning and then they kissed.
Then kissed some more. Cause why the hell not hey?
And just like that, Farmer Wants A Wife 2026 is over.
Well…Almost.
I’ll be back for one final Farmer Wants A Wife 2026 Recap as we find out who’s still together and who’s already gone their separate ways.
Until then, this fully qualified farmer’s wife is signing off.
To catch up on all the farmer drama, the full season airs on 7Plus. Watch it here.
If you’re still here after all that pashing, you’re one of our people. Subscribe to the Greater SA newsletter and never miss a Farmer Wants A Wife recap or the best stories from around regional South Australia.
