Latest plastic ban may save marine life, but who knew saving the planet would taste like chewing on a tree
The Great Plastic Purge has arrived, and while no one wants to be the villain in a turtle’s life story, we’ve got to talk about the reality of this new plastic-free utopia. September not only marks the beginning of Spring, but also the day South Australia decided to give more single-use plastics the boot. And now, the following items are officially banned: single-use plastic coffee cups and lids, plastic barrier bags for fresh produce, plastic-laminated paper shopping bags, all plastic food bag tags (yes, those sneaky bread tag ninjas), plastic balloon sticks, plastic balloon ties, and even plastic confetti.
Sure, we all agree saving marine life is non-negotiable – the stats don’t lie. Without action, the annual flow of plastic into the ocean could nearly triple by 2040 to a staggering 29 million metric tonnes. That’s 50 kilograms of plastic for every metre of coastline worldwide. But does anyone really want to swap their smooth plastic fork for wooden cutlery that tastes like they’re chewing on a piece of bark? And don’t get me started on those paper straws that give up halfway through your freshly squeezed juice – it’s like they were designed by quitters.
The best bit is no more plastic confetti dropping out of those “surprise birthday cards” from your one annoying Aunty. Her well-meaning, but infuriating plastic mess will be gone for good. And since over 97% of South Australians are on board with banning more single-use plastics, she’ll have to find a new way to spread joy.
South Australian Deputy Premier Susan Close summed it up perfectly: “Single-use plastics are often used for seconds but they last a lifetime in our natural environment. The carbon footprint associated with making, transporting, and disposing of single-use plastics is not sustainable if we are to more than halve our carbon emissions by 2030.” Hard to argue with that – unless, of course, you’re trying to do it while sipping through a soggy straw.
And Rhett Dryburgh, owner of Sarah’s Sister’s Sustainable Café, sees the upside: “The ban that came into effect on September 1 is really important in helping guide not only hospitality venues but all businesses to make better choices for the environment.”
So, while we’re mourning the loss of our plastic conveniences, at least we can sip our eco-friendly coffee with a clear conscience, even if it does come with a side of bark.
