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‘Panda’monium as China and SA pull off another sex trafficking deal

PIC – Adelaide Zoo
Abbie Tiller

Welcome to Summer in Adelaide Xing Qui and Yi Lan

Is it the ultimate dating and mating reality series of the animal world? Or is it a weird sex trafficking arrangement between Governments?

Two Chinese Pandas in their 20’s have bid farewell to family and friends in their native country, before being bundled into cages, loaded onto planes and flown some 8,000 kilometres from home, where crowds of tourists are hoping for some panda porn.

Arriving today, on a day drier than a dead dingo’s donger – Xing Qui and Yi Lan must think they’ve been sent to hell – welcome fury panda friends to summer in Adelaide.

The couple who have never even met, will undergo a month long quarantine period at their new home in the Adelaide Zoo, before the Bamboo Forest officially re-opens in the new year, with a sex-party to welcome the Chinese natives – who are expected to have acclimatised to the searing Aussie Summer, been treated for any diseases from previous partners, and be ready to play out a high profile and public sexual relationship.

Since Wang Wang and Fu Ni were sent packing after more than a decade of failed foreplay, the new couple are the only Giant Pandas being subjected to life in the Southern Hemisphere.

The Adelaide Zoo panda project has been supported and welcomed by the South Australian Government, with a rental cosy of $1.5 million annually – apparently a small price to pay for a major panda porking tourist attraction. And visitors just can’t get enough. Despite Wang Wang giving Fu Ni the ick, visitation increased by 150,000 people in the first year of the pandas arrival, and for 15 years the couple living in matrimonial hell continued to be one of the most popular attractions at Adelaide Zoo.

Minister for Foreign Affairs, Penny Wong, can’t wait to take her daughters to see the pandas when they are out of quarantine and in their honey moon period in early 2025.

“I know they will bring joy to tourists from across the country and overseas, and pay dividends to the state’s tourism sector over the next decade,” Minister Wong said.

 

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