Miranda Finally Gets Her Marching Orders, Four Intruders Shake Things Up and Hairy Dairy Farmer Jason’s Shrinking Harem Faces Fresh Drama
Farmer Wants A Wife 2026 finally delivered something many Australians thought they’d never see.
Ding dong, the witch is gone!
Zac finally got the blood flowing back to his brain and “Zacaranda” will never see the light of day.
But we’ll get to that spectacular exit in a minute.
I’ve gotta admit, it’s getting hard to watch, but I’m committed for the long haul to bring you the best of the worst season of Farmer Wants A Wife 2026.
Farmer Wants A Wife 2026 Double Trouble
It was double-date week on Farmer Wants A Wife.
Ah, polygamy – don’t you love it?
Each farmer had to pick two lucky ladies for a threesome date before eventually kicking one of them to the curb.
Before they made their selections, we were treated to a little bit of farm action.
Over in the Riverland, Almond Farmer J-Rad got his ladies fertilising his nuts before playfully squirting that stinking stuff everywhere in an attempt to fertilise each other.
Holy Moly Alex had his sister-wives weeding and mopping out the fungus van. Alex still has the big feels for Eddy. Maybe he’s made a truce with Jesus and is willing to share his life with the man in the clouds?
It must have been quiet in the orchard as Apple A Day Farmer Zac’s sister-wives were colouring in and painting their nails like a group of kindy kids on a rainy day.
Down the road, Cowboy Dylan’s still tripping over his bottom lip because Ally didn’t play football and Hairy Dairy Farmer Jason is trying to navigate his double drama, only having two women left in his house..
The Double Dates
Here’s where it gets juicy for Apple A Day Farmer Zac. He chose “I spilled the beans to your sister” Maya and Miranda for his double date. *Cue dramatic music.
Miranda sat in the back with the sulks on cause “why does Maya get to sit in the front/”. But she got her revenge when Rock Climbing was on the agenda, cause Maya is scared of heights.
Miranda naturally declared herself the winner before she even harnessed up, and scaled that wall like a monkey.
Clearly, her impressive rock-climbing handgrip didn’t impress Zac enough to win him over.
After weeks of tears, drama, side-eyes, manipulation and giant red flags, Zac sent Miranda packing. Applause rang out from lounge rooms all across Australia as we collectively sighed with relief, flipping the bird at the TV yelling “eat a bag of dicks Miranda” – or was that just me?
Miranda, however, was completely unfazed.
“I’m booking a fliiiight to Eurrrrope, goooing to the Greek Iiiiislands and oooordering a cocktail.”
Look out Greece.
Over at Holy Moly Alex’s place, he took Lock-It-In Eddy and Gabby to play tennis.
Despite the other man in Eddy’s life, Alex remains a smitten kitten.
Gabby could see the writing on the wall and decided to leave before Alex had the chance to send her packing.
Smart woman.
Cowboy Dylan, who appears to love horses more than his lovely ladies, took Ally and bird-box builder Lily on a horse-riding double date.
Lily was keen as mustard to show Dylan she was into horses.
Ally stayed true to herself and gave the whole thing a polite “yeah nah”.
Dylan got the sulks AGAIN because Ally wasn’t playing the game and doing things to please him. #manchild
Lily came out looking like the front runner because the quickest way to Dylan’s heart appears to be riding horses, loving horses or possibly being a horse.
Somehow Ally worked her magic and managed to sneak in a pash with Cowboy Dylan… while on the double date! #risky
When Lily found out she looked genuinely horrified. Who would do such a thing on a TV show when one man is dating five women at the same time?
For a brief moment Lily forgot what this show was all about.
Then out of nowhere she suddenly remembered her purpose in life wasn’t to marry a cowboy from Cherry Gardens after-all. It was to save the planet. “The world’s on fire and the oceans are dying” she told a very confused looking Cowboy.
And as she packed up her things and googled “how to save the planet”, Lily’s parting gift was warning Dylan to “watch out for Ally”. Oh don’t worry Lily. He’s watching.
Farmer J-Rad decided the perfect double date involved fishing.
Cara and Carly perfected the damsel-in-distress routine while J-Rad spent the afternoon baiting hooks, casting lines and generally doing all the fishing.
The women grinned with their perfectly white teeth and giggled their way through what looked like the most boring date of all time.
Cara pulled J-Rad aside and wanted him to know that beneath the perfect hair, fake tan and dazzling smile she could absolutely handle life on a farm.
J-Rad wasn’t buying it and Cara jetsetted back to Queensland. Carly was safe for another day.
Farmer Wants A Wife 2026 Intruders
Cue dramatic music and a text from host Nat.
It was intruder time.
Each farmer’s family got to choose a woman who didn’t make the cut the first time around and send them on a date.
Then the farmers had to decide whether to bring them back to the farm and unleash his fresh find into his pack of sister-wives.
Zac’s mum selected Pilates instructor Asha from Mount Gambier.
Despite spending half the date yanking at her dress and repositioning her “girls”, she seemed like a corker.
The pair spent the afternoon rowing backwards and somehow not sinking, in what looked like a 100-year-old dinghy floating in a manky pond.
Once they hit dry land, surprise surprise, there was a cheese platter and booze.
Zac was smitten enough with Asha to bring her back to the farm. Zac’s sister-wives smiled and played nicely but Maya was hanging on by a thread. So she pulled Zac aside and turned on the tears.
Then she completely forgot how sentences work.
“Like Zac, are like we like mates? Or like are we like more?”
Apple a Day Zac did what Zac does best and answered absolutely nothing.
He reassured her she was a lovely person and he could definitely see a future.
Phew, Maya breathed a sigh of relief despite the glaring fact he’d literally just brought another woman home.
Holy Moly Alex’s parents selected Madison.
The pair went hiking. #fthat
Alex called her “bruh”. #fthattoo
It seemed to be a good match.
Back at the farm, Lock-It-In Eddy confidently declared that whether Alex returned with Madison or without her, the result would be affirming either way. That’s lawyer talk for “if he brings her back I’m outta here.”
And what do you know? Alex arrived home alone.
The remaining trio celebrated like they’d won Lotto.
Three women was enough for this one-woman man.
Meanwhile, in the Adelaide Hills, Cowboy Dylan’s grandparents found Keely.
A Twenty-three year old blonde horse lover.
“Bloody oath.” Cowboy Dylan was pumped. But wait… Poor Dylan suddenly found himself facing a terrible dilemma.
He already had a blonde horse girl at home.
What’s a cowboy to do?
Apparently the answer is bring home another one! Why the hell not?
The original sister-wives responded with the only logical strategy available. Apply more makeup, look pretty and prepare for battle.
Seems fair.
Back at the Riverland, J-Rad’s friend Rachel picked Christina, a Scottish-English-Australian writer whose accent was so confusing she needed subtitles.
The beautiful Murray River was once again the star of the show as they floated along on a houseboat. It wasn’t long before they ended up in a spa with J-Rad wasting no time, launching in for a pash.
He obviously brought Christina back to the farm and suddenly Carly, who loves Jesus, started questioning his character.
Carly. His character isn’t in question. His character is horny.
Meanwhile Bobby-Pin Brodie, who has barely spoken a word all season and still hasn’t had a pash, must be wondering what exactly she’s hanging around for.
Maybe she’s attempting a Bradbury. She’ll watch everyone implode and swoop in for the win. #goodtactic
Hairy Dairy Farmer Jason finally got some airtime.
His sister chose Kimberley, somebody Farmer Jason had apparently been doing a bit of online flirting with a few years ago.
Kimberley’s ovaries are in overdrive and she’s keen to punch out a few rug rats.
Hairy Dairy Farmer Jason is very much in the market for a baby maker. Seems his sister knows what he wants.
The maths was mathing.
She wore a hat, had perfect white teeth, which appears to be a prerequisite for this show, and seemed happy to uproot her life for a dairy farmer.
Naturally he brought Kimberley home. And if anyone should be taking home an extra sister-wife, it’s Jason – he only has two left by default. Give the guy a break.
Logan was unimpressed. “No kids Poppy” was furious.
Neither exactly rolled out the welcome mat. Then Logan dramatically stormed outside with Jason in hot pursuit.
The poor bloke looked absolutely terrified. Not because Logan was upset, but because somebody might discover he and Kimberley already knew each other. #ooohdrama
Stay tuned for next week with three shock departures, a Country Fair and more pashing than a high school disco.
Farmer Wants A Wife 2026 airs on Channel 7 and 7plus, Sunday-Tuesday at 7pm and 7.30pm.
Missed last week’s drama? Check out our Week 2 Farmer Wants A Wife 2026 recap.
